Author: Patrick King
Review by: Soumaya Khalifa, president of intercultural and DEI consultancy Khalifa Consulting; founder of the Islamic Speakers Bureau of Atlanta
It is said that the two things people fear most are death and public speaking. I would add that for many, small talk is a close third, but it may be heartening to know that this is a skill that can be learned.
As a coach who works with expatriates coming to the U.S., I spend a considerable amount of time helping clients become more comfortable having conversations with strangers.
Patrick King’s book, Better Small Talk, does an excellent job of describing what to do or not do in order to navigate small talk successfully. By breaking down the art of good conversation in an easy-to-read style, King not only provides the tools for improving networking skills, he illustrates the value (and necessity) of these skills.
One of King’s most important points is that small talk is not just about chit-chat or filling an awkward moment with chatter. Small talk itself is a relationship and trust building tool. As a “social lubricator,” good conversation can ease discomfort at the beginning of a meeting, break the ice in a new situation and even help us chat with our neighbors.
Recognizing the importance of small talk allows us to prepare for useful casual conversation that can lead us toward our intended outcome. King suggests that small talk can be categorized as unplanned and planned. Using short anecdotes to illustrate his points, he provides techniques to learn and skills to develop for either an unplanned or planned conversational environment.
Unplanned small talk happens at the grocery store, with neighbors, at a holiday party, or waiting in line and chatting with random people. Opportunities for planned small talk include networking events and community programs. To manage conversations in those types of environments, King shows us how to do our homework: set goals, know who will be attending and decide who we will talk with and what topics to discuss.
Better Small Talk recommends preparing for those opportunities by:
- Being aware of current events such as sports, world affairs, industry updates, etc.
- Standing in front of a mirror practicing and feeling comfortable with the process.
- Picking topics that matter to you and could be of interest to others
- Having a few authentic compliments ready (niceties can go a long way).
- Avoiding political or other divisive topics by using a smooth segue
Better Small Talk teaches the reader how to plan for conversations, prepare questions and have ready responses. It is a great resource for beginners or anyone wanting to sharpen up their skills as they gear up for networking in the new year.
Editor’s notes: Global Atlanta will receive a 10 percent commission on any purchase of this book through the links on this page.
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